page 66

Project 5 notebook - page

The great Dream of the lover is auto-sexual.
You cannot seriously believe that what you
Strongly desire ever happens the way envisaged.
The act may last for a day even two provided
there is no work to do and there is food.
But then it becomes memory, and that falsified.
So what is there to do, but to repeat it?
You can only ever live now they say. And when
‘now’ has passed then you live the next one. And if
in that ‘now’ she has gone, then where do you live?
Auto-sex and memory, that is ‘love’ for us isn’t it?

And consider… there is no one who really wishes to
hear your story… and when they appear to be curious
about you… is it not auto-sex?
Don’t make your story too evocative lest they mess
themselves all over you… disguised in our culture
as ‘friends’…

… and enemies.


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